Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·   Fair (207 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/f70nm4cm  ·   Fair (868 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.

The Earl of Chesterfield, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fznv6alr  ·   Fair (554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9fqb7lqw  ·   Fair (58 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Paul Gauguin, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/4ru9egbz  ·   Fair (75 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv  ·   Fair (242 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nd8c4s7a  ·   Fair (66 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream.

Kahlil Gibran, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/txsowiaz  ·   Fair (85 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Brendan Gill, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ucas5skv  ·   Fair (1249 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ktc0xjw3  ·   Fair (833 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/leqwvn5o  ·   Fair (2762 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

tiny.ag/buksmgyy  ·   Fair (709 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Forrest Gump (VHS (NTSC widescreen))

Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get.

Winston Groom, Forrest Gump, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/mdhzlnil  ·   Fair (99 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.

M. Grundler, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/5mrm7cdg  ·   Fair (3018 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Greek Way (paperback)

It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies.

Edith Hamilton, The Greek Way, in Life and Death and War and Peace

tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho  ·   Fair (512 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/yio6tuyz  ·   Fair (986 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/xiwdsjg7  ·   Fair (127 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Daniel Dennett, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·   Fair (368 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx  ·   Fair (433 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I don't feel good.

Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hfdoz0jf  ·   Fair (164 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.

Samuel Butler, in Life and Death