Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (355 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter F. Drucker, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (278 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (305 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Collis P. Huntington, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (435 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (1058 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (370 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Robert F. Kennedy, in Success and Failure

Comment#  ·   Fair (1050 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Michael A. Loduha

When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.

Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (572 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality, since lost time is never found again; and what we call time enough always proves little enough.

Benjamin Franklin, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (512 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (439 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves.

Gilbert Highet, in Art and Literature

Comment#  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (506 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (535 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

Henrik Ibsen, in Wealth and Poverty

Comment#  ·   Fair (251 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (563 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I think I don't know.

R. D. Laing, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (2925 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism

Comment#  ·   Fair (651 ratings)  ·  submitted 1998

An aphorism is not an aphorism unless you know what it means.

Winston Churchill, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (331 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (420 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

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