Unknown

Wise men make proverbs; fools repeat them.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have?

Unknown, in War and Peace

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The world is governed more by appearance than realities, so it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as it is to know it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Unknown, (Muslim proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure